This Little Diabetic Piggy: The Homeopathic Nursery Rhyme

Diabetes, USA - The This Little Piggy nursery rhyme and fingerplay had been a childhood favorite of parents and kids for over 200 years. What made this song special was the lighthearted play and gentle touch that went along with the smiles and laughter percolating through the hearts and souls of parents and children alike.  But fast forward to the 21st century and all was not well.  Diet, exercise, doctors and medicine were a proven failure in the quest to rid diabetes from our nation.

As a result, diabetes and diabetic related foot complications had threatened the very innocence of the This Little Piggy nursery rhyme.  No longer was it politically correct to enjoy the anticipated laughter of few little piggies with your child while tens of millions of children and adults with Charcot joints, neuropathic pain and partial amputations  suffered under the weight of Nursery Rhyme Discrimination (NRD).

The emotional toll that NRD (DSM-5 Axis VI*) was taking on victims was  first described in 2003 after researchers set out to prove the link between diabetes and the increased risk of stroke, heart attack and joining class action lawsuits was mere coincidence.  Instead,  these well respected anti-vaccine community leaders hypothesized the increased risk of stroke, heart attack and joining class action lawsuits was in fact caused by NRD and not by hyperglycemia's well established physiological effects on endothelial function.

In 2003,  Jenny Wakefield, MD and her team of homeopathic pediatricians became international celebrities after The New England Journal of Medicine published results of their placebo controlled double blind study showing a 70% relative reduction in one-year mortality for diabetic families who  had a goal HgbA1c of 6.5 and sang This Little Diabetic Piggy instead of a goal HgbA1c of 14 and sang This Little Piggy.

In a summary of her findings, Dr Wakefield concluded that strokes, heart attacks and diabetic class action lawsuits could be eliminated if parents took a less discriminatory tone of communication with their children during times of nursery rhyme fingerplay.

Let diabetic nursery rhymes bring your family together forever!
"This study was a wakefield call for all the diabetics out there.  There's no science behind ditching your Little Debbies.  If you want to improve your health, ditch your Little Piggies instead,"  said Dr. Wakefield.

Dr Wakefield was responsible for the marketing brochure seen below intended to help parents and their children learn the words for the more accepting This Little Diabetic Piggy nursery rhyme.  The astute reader notes that toe #1 and toe #2 are out of order in the song.

The great toe was in fact supposed to go to the OR but was saved after the surgeon inadvertently guillotined toe #2 during surgery.  "I had a sudden unexplained urge for #2 and I'd rather not talk about it anymore,"  said the orthopedic surgeon who tried to cover up his mistake by putting the foot in a non weight bearing cast for two years, which also just happened to be the statute of limitations for medical malpractice.

This little diabetic piggy went to OR,
This little diabetic piggy got gout,
This little diabetic piggy trained the ortho chief,
This little diabetic piggy got quinolone,
And this little diabetic piggy got cellulitis all the way to the bone!

This Little Diabetic Piggy...

* Axis VI codes real diseases causing real pain and suffering that are currently on a waiting list for official ICD-10 classification, such as Dilaudopenia and  Fibromyassitis

If you're offended by this politically incorrect piggy humor, don't get all your piggies in a bunch. And definitely don't go checkout this collection of diabetes humor.  You might end up with a stroke or a heart attack or joining a class action lawsuit.

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