Mayo Clinic Sued By Hellmann's Maker For False Advertising.

Rochester, MN --  Mayo Clinic was sued Monday by a Unilever, the maker of  Hellmann's mayonnaise, claiming the hospital's actual brick and mortar is not made of egg and oil, an FDA requirement since 1957 for any product that wants to call itself mayonnaise.   The lawsuit comes less than a week after the multinational behemoth  sued Just Mayo -- a small San Francisco start-up with a vegan alternative to mayonnaise -- for using mayo in their name despite not having the required egg and oil mixture.

Unilever, which claims consumers equate mayo to mayonnaise,  is asking Mayo Clinic to add a required egg and oil mixture to all structural components of their campus buildings worldwide or change their name to Not Mayo Clinic.

"The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has very specific requirements for any product calling itself mayonnaise.  We are simply asking Mayo Clinic to comply with the law," said Hans Grubble, Head of Unilever's Cease and Desist Orders Division.

Mayo Clinic CEO Dr. John Noseworthy responded to the lawsuit with an offer for free medical care for Unilever representatives involved with the lawsuit.  "Anyone who thinks Mayo clinic is Mayonnaise clinic needs to be evaluated.  We are offering a free head-to-toe neurological exam for the entire Unilever management team with the best neurologists in the world," said Dr. Noseworthy, who ironically prefers the smell of mustard over mayo for his sandwiches.

Mayo Clinic sued for false advertising
Patient advocacy groups applauded Unilever's action as a step in the right direction for truth in advertisement.  One internet website forum claims to have thousands of comments from disgruntled Mayo Clinic patients who say they were not offered real mayonnaise while hospitalized for their unusual symptom complex that always turns out to be psychiatric in nature.

"I could tell my turkey sandwich did not have real mayonnaise when I didn't get severe throat swelling and rash after eating it," said one Mayo Clinic patient who posted her list of 42 other allergies, including the color red and bright lights, on the forum page as proof of her rare affinity for strange allergies.

Dr. Noseworthy defended Mayo Clinic's use of fake mayo as a patient safety issue.  "We understand patients may believe they are getting real mayo in their sandwiches when they come here because of our name, but we have studied the issue for years. Our patients have a much higher rate listing life threatening allergies to mayo and our fake mayo policy is a Joint Commission mandate implemented after a rash of  real mayo related pseudoseizures and 'just in case intubations' we experienced in the 1990's.

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