Ferguson Missouri County Hospital Looted. Facebook Likes Explode.

Ferguson, MO --  Violence and looting brought chaos to Ferguson, Missouri  yesterday after a grand jury decision not to indict a white police officer involved in the death of Michael Brown, an unarmed black teenager who died earlier this year.  Ferguson County Hospital was spared no relief as rioters stormed the hospital hoping to loot anything they could get their hands on.

But ransackers were disappointed to find the county hospital had nothing to take.  "We're a county hospital. We don't have anything to steal,'" said James Valentine,  Vice President of Public Relations at the hospital.

Ferguson County Hospital, a state-of-the-art 200 bed hospital back in 1942, now survives on the goodwill of volunteer doctors, nurses and local charities for medical supplies.

"Our crumbling hospital was last updated in 1967 since the county has spent all their money rebuilding Ferguson after the riots of 1972, 1979, 1986, 1994, 2002,  and 2014.  And today the county is  cutting our budget by 30% to pay for future anticipated riots."

Several dozen well known alcoholics used the upheaval as an opportunity to storm the ER in search of a narkey [narcotics and a turkey sandwich], but were disappointed when all they found were crates filled with expired Tylenol, Prilosec and Miralax donated by doctors who cleaned out their offices.

James urged looting protesters  to receive notifications on future supply shipments by liking the Ferguson County Hospital Facebook Page.   "If there is one good thing that has come from these riots, it's that our Facebook page went from 2,000 to 200,000 likes in just a couple days."

"One or two more riots likes this and I'm hoping we can get to a million likes on our Facebook page.  That would look pretty good on my resume."

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