Mental Health Hospice: For Those Difficult To Control ObamaCare Patients.

What does ObamaCare mean to patients?.  Nobody knows yet except the front line nurses and administrative support personel being fired in anticipation of devastating revenue models that ObamaCare promises to implement.   The Medicare National Bank is broke.  Under certain qualifying conditions, CMS has already stopped paying for 30 day heart failure readmissions.  Never mind the incredible psychosocial, physical and mental headwinds that accompany the vast majority of bounce backs we hospitalists see in the hospital setting.

50% of all health care dollars are spent by 5% of the population.   This is chronic illness.  Add on the incredible burden of chronic and uncontrolled mental illness and it's nearly impossible to keep these folks healthy and community bound, away from doctors and hospitals.

But never fear.  Deep in the never before read footnote between pages 4200 and 4201 of ObamaCare legislation is a little known benefit now known as Mental Health Hospice (MHH).  One paragraph describes this incredible new patient benefit plan.  There are only three criteria required for patients to get this benefit.  Once beneficiaries qualify for mental health hospice, participation is mandatory.  All mental health hospice patients must be admitted to a lock down mental health hospice house, never to be seen again.  That begs the question, how do patients qualify for this exciting new MHH ObamaCare benefit?
  1. Any 30 day hospital readmission is an automatic qualification. 
  2. Any patient who says, "It's it my chart" automatically qualifies for mental health hospice too.  It's in my chart is not an acceptable answer to any of my questions.  Ever. Bye bye.
  3. Any patient on coumadin who can't tell their hospitalist why they are on coumadin automatically qualifies for mental health hospice.  I'll sign their MHH papers stat.  Why?  If you're a patient taking rat poison and you don't know why you're taking rat poison, you deserve to be on mental health hospice. 
I'm not alone in congratulating ObamaCare for this new ground breaking benefit plan.  Doctors have been thinking their patients need mental health hospice for years.  They just didn't have the guts to say it out loud, as this crude medical ecard humor explains.

"What you need is mental health hospice, not another CT scan."

What you need is mental health hospice, not another CT scan doctor ecard humor photo.

This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those in a healthcare profession. Read at your own risk.

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