Ex Lax Tax To Help Fund Medicare. Constipation Epidemic Confirmed.

Washington -- In a surprising move today, the Obama administration has admitted Medicare is not sustainable under current economic projections and they have recommended new taxes to pay for health care.  In addition to all the taxes to pay for the poor and uninsured under the Accountable Care Act , Obama has introduced a new tax, called the  the ex-lax tax, to help pay for senior care.  While originally considering a consumption tax, Obama officials quickly realized the gold mine in constipation instead.

Sources indicate the new ex-lax tax will be applicable to all seniors over the age of 65 with less than two bowels movements per week.  A representative of Obama, who wished to remain anonymous said, "We already know the number one concern for seniors these days are their bowel movements.  My grandma can't stop talking about how she can't poop.  What better way to raise money for Medicare than to tax constipation.  Less than two bowel movements a week?  Ha!  That should cover 'em all!  We're talking a butt load of money here!"

While Obama expects to raise billions of dollars to back-stop the Medicare program with his new tax, the AARP immediately responded with disgust.  "Something smells fishy here.  I think somebody's feeding Obama crap numbers and we're going to do everything in our power to get to the bottom of this and make sure he gets his head out of his bottom end."

Print Friendly and PDF