Future of Hospitalist Medicine: TeliPad Technology!

iPads can improve the efficiency of hospital rounds for hospitalists, but don't let that be all it's used for.  iPads areportable.  They are lighweigt and they have a  touch screen.  iPads are the future and they are the  eight hundred pound gorilla that will transform the delivery platform of health care decisions. Let's think outside the box, shall we?  What else can hospitalists use their iPad for? Once they have front facing camera chips, they'll be able to set up their own TeliPad hospitalist consulting practice.  You've heard of telerad.  You've heard of telemedicine.  Well, I present to you TeliPad.

I'm shocked that TeliPad hasn't even been trademarked yet.  It should be.  TeliPad is the future of hospitalist medical care.   You heard it hear first on The Happy Hospitalist.  It's like the robot hospitalist, only better and cheaper.  It might even put a few hospitalists out of work if you factor in the labor arbitrage of physicians 10,000 miles away.  Although local credentialing might keep that from happening.  Who needs a robot when you have an RN that can do your exam for you? Just imagine what you could do with a little TeliPad device.  All you need is an RN that you trust  to take vitals and walk from  room to room with  an iPad showing your charming hospitalist face to all the  little old  ladies admitted through the ER with COPD, heart failure  and pneumonia.    Need to attend a family conference in the ICU?    No problem.  Hospitalist efficiency is here to stay.   Just place your iPad in the middle of the room for all to see.  It's that simple.    This is a TeliPad visit.  It's going to be huge, you just you wait.  We have telerad.  We have telemedicine.  Why not TeliPad medicine? While we're at it, why not the TeliRad Pad.  Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout.  Get all your films on your iPad.  See them anytime and anyplace you can take your iPad. 

There are no limits to this portable touch screen technology.  While you're talking to the patient and  nurse via TeliPad, you can search the internet for valuable medical updates.  You can dictate your history and physical examination  and hospital discharge summary  via the  hands free Dragon audio real time voice transciption software.  You can even let the software program determine if your visit  rises  to a high level CPT 99233 hospital follow up fee and have your charge electronically sent to your billing company immediately for rapid cashflow turnaround.  You can even do physician order entry and medication reconciliation to make sure grandma is getting what you want her to get, when you want her to get it.

You can do this all while using Google maps on your iPad to find your way to the Four Seasons Resort  in Downtown Miami.  That's the future of TeliPad medicine and how  hospitalists can benefit from their skills as the guru of inpatient medicine.  In a declining payment environment, TeliPad medicine represents an incredible opportunity to earn extra money while driving. Of course, these additional opportunities for doctors are only to be used to pass away the time driving to the sun and surf.  Once you get there, I expect you to put away your work, or at least see just a couple patients before sunrise, to pay for that nice candlelight dinner you promised your wife years ago, but were too busy to provide.  Now is your time to shine, doctor.  Let TeliPad medicine pay the way.

This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those in a healthcare profession. Read at your own risk.

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