Funny Doctor Pranks! This Is A Good One!

A sense of humor. It's certainly one of the greatest gifts anyone could ever ask for. Looking for those opportune times to bring a laugh is always at the top of my agenda.

One bored day as a resident, mixed amongst the constant battle to stay ahead of the scut work and learning opportunities, I found myself smack dab in the middle of some of the greatest gags I have every been involved in. I'm not sure where the idea came from. Perhaps it was the paging of our staff pulmonologist to 1-800-sex-numbers and then watching his reaction when he answered. Some of the most memorable moments on the wards happened in these less than academic moments.

Perhaps this was my motivation for messing with my fellow residents. But how does one mess with a resident? Beyond calling them and telling them that their patient just died (when in fact they hadn't), there isn't a whole heck of a lot that you can do to your fellow residents that they haven't seen or heard before. Unless of course you're Happy.

Like every other wholesome Midwestern city, we had sex shops. And those sex shops go by the name Dr Tom. Dr Tom sells everything you can imagine. Right down to the. Well, use your imagination. One boring day between lectures, rounding and eating I decided to kick it up a notch. For no apparent reason, Dr Tom would be my accomplice in crime. 555-SEXY was placed into the pager of an unsuspected resident. The conversation went something like this.

Dr. Jones paged to 555-SEXY

Dr Jones dials 555-SEXY

Sex shop: "Dr Tom."

Resident: "Dr Jones."

Sex shop: "Dr Tom. Can I help you?"

Resident: "This is Dr Jones. Can I help you?"

Sex shop: "This is Dr Tom. You called me."

Resident: "Listen. This is D-o-c-t-o-r Jones. You paged me."

Sex shop: "Listen man. Nobody paged you."

Resident: "This is D-o-c-t-o-r Jones. I was paged to 555-SEXY. Is that you?"

Sex shop: "Yes, that's me, but nobody paged you."

Resident: "Yes you did, I've got it right here."

Sex shop: "This is Dr Tom. We sell sex toys."

Resident: "Ah, got ya."


I sat there with a face of stone watching this whole thing play out. It doesn't get any better than that, unless of course you follow that with the following gag:

Resident: "I've got an urgent message in my mail box (back in the days when messages were written on paper) to call Myra Mains at 555-WDBX"

Me: "I wonder what that could be? I was there when the secretary took the call. It sounded pretty important."

Resident: dials 555-WDBX.

WDBX: "Hello. Can I help you?"

Resident: "This is Dr Worried. I received a message to call Myra Mains"

WDBX: "Who?"

Resident: "Myra Mains"

WDBX: "Who?"

Resident: "Myra Mains. Is this 555-WDBX?"

WDBX: "Yes."

Resident: "I received an urgent message to call Myra Mains"

WDBX: "Oh honey. You've been had. This is a funeral home. Say it real slow."

Resident: "Oh my God!"

Well. What goes around comes around. I found myself in the midst of a busy afternoon with page after page coming my way. In comes 555-SEXY on my pager. Of course, not a number I recognize, I believe it to be an outside physician I may have called hours ago. Here is my conversation today:

Happy dials 555-SEXY that came in on his pager

Sex shop: "Dr Tom"

Me: "This is Dr Happy. I was paged."

Sex shop: "Somebody paged you?"

Me: "Yes"

Sex shop: "Well hold on. Let me check"

Music in the back ground. Strange stuff.

2 minutes passed. Happy's getting impatient.

Sex shop: "Nobody paged you here. I think somebody is messing with you."

Me: "OK then."


It struck me as odd that Dr Tom would tell me that somebody was messing with me. You see, there really is a Dr Tom in our area. And we really do see his patients. So I just assumed I was talking to Dr Tom. The real Dr Tom.

And then I got the page to 867-5309.

And I knew Happy had been had. Dr Tom was in fact the love doctor and not the doctor doctor.

Oh well. What goes around, comes around.

This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those in a health care profession. Read at your own risk. 

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3 Outbursts:

  1. I don't get the Joke in telling a Resident his patient died. I LOVED it when that happened, as long as it wan't my fault, much less paperwork, the "Celestial Discharge" as it was. Oh I get it, the Patient was still Alive!! Oh man that would suck. Good One.

  2. Similar a (lowly pharmacy) resident we used to do the whole prank page thing too. At the time we only had numeric (not text) pagers and almost daily paged our flat-chested, good-natured resident "55378008."

    Read it upside down.

    It seemed funnier at the time, shrug.

  3. yeah, I'm all of two weeks into my third year, and I've already gotten an 867-5309 page.


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