Top 10 Reasons Patients Skip Dialysis

The National Association of Noncompliant Dialysis Patients (NANDP), the largest noncompliant patient association in America, has released their 2016 Top 10 Reasons For Skipping Dialysis survey. Debuting in the top ten for the first time  in this annual survey  were Shopping on Amazon Prime Day and Playing Pokemon GO.

 "Amazon, Pokemon and Netflix are driving our chronic dialysis patients to an early grave,"  said Dr Stanley Cornsmith, M.D., Director of AMA Patient Satisfaction.  "I don't even want to think of what will happen once virtual reality goes mainstream.  We'll have hundreds of thousands of patients hospitalized because they thought they actually got dialyzed.

 Falling out of the top ten reasons for missing dialysis were I Was Eating and I Couldn't Get a Ride, which had been perennial powerhouses on the survey's top 10 list.


1. I just had dialysis two days ago.

2. I was shopping on  Amazon Prime Day.

3.  I had shit to do.

4.  My chiropractor does manipulation instead.

5.  They wouldn't let me smoke.

6.  I was too busy playing Pokemon Go.

7.  What is dialysis?

8.  I drink Plexus instead.

9.  I was Netflix Binging

10.  I was too short of breath to go.

(11).  Obamacare.

(12).  They wouldn't let me bring my therapy dog for emotional distress.

(13).  Changes mind on hospice hourly.

"The number of noncompliant dialysis patients is too damn high."

The number of noncompliant dialysis patients is too damn high.

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