Troopers Nab Drug-Seeker Trying to Fill Script for '1 Pound of Mofine'.

Dallas, TX -  Texas State Troopers arrested 47-year-old Harold Stanker on Tuesday after Walmart pharmacists reported a man trying to fill a prescription for 1 pound of mofine written by an ER physician named The Doctor.

The suspect told officers he got the prescription during a recent visit to the hospital. "The doctor gave it to me after sum dude knocked me out while I was mindin' my own business," said Harold, an ER frequent-flier known for his almost daily pain complaints after altercations with sum dude.

Walmart pharmacists say they have received extensive training in prescription fraud, but admit it's getting harder and harder to separate the fake scripts from the real ones.

"It doesn't help that we actually have a self-humoring ER physician on file named The Doctor who frequently writes his scripts on napkins or other random paper products and signs them with a smiley face,"  said Walmart pharmacist Allen Bensen.

'1 pound of mofine' prescription tips off Walmart pharmacist
Allen admits it wasn't the chocolate stained napkin or even the misspelling of morphine that tipped him off.   "We're so used to the obnoxiously bad spelling and handwriting of doctors that we don't even pay attention to that stuff anymore.  Now we just take our best guess on the phonetic spelling of the script and go with it.  Besides, when we call physicians to clarify, we usually get a voice mail telling us to call the pharmacist for any prescription related issues," said Allen.

The Walmart pharmacist says he actually became concerned because of the unorthodox weight based dosing of the drug.  "If he had written the script for 2000 mofines, I probably would have filled it, no questions asked," said Allen.

When officers searched Harold, they also found prescriptions for 2000 oxycottons, a bag fulla hydacodas and a handful of fenergins.

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