Democratic Donkey Taken to ER After Near Drowning by GOP Tidal Wave.

Washington, D.C.  --  The Democratic donkey was taken to the emergency room in critical condition Tuesday after the beloved mascot nearly drowned during an election night GOP tidal wave that ripped across America.  The heroic actions of  two off duty Hospitalists and a nurse were credited with stabilizing the national icon before ambulance crews arrived to transport the donkey to the nearest hospital.

"We take care of a lot of jackasses just looking for a hot and a cot in the hospital, but we knew immediately this guy was in trouble.  We wanted to start CPR but realized we didn't have any nurses to guide us, that is until one showed up at the last moment to tell us what to do." said Dr. James Fedora, the Hospitalist who always shows up last to CPR.

The Democratic icon was nearly turned away from the hospital after ER doctors weren't sure if treating donkeys was within their scope of medical practice, but that fleeting thought quickly turned to action when they realized  the donkey was a jackass and he had EMTALA on his side.

"EMTALA delivers me jackasses everyday.  This day was no different so we sprung into action,"   said Dr Jenny Banner, the ER doctor who speaks for all ER doctors everywhere.

Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Democratic National Committee Chair, was thankful for the heroic actions of medical bystanders,  but quickly became agitated after she learned the hospital where the mascot was sent does not accept the pet insurance plan her committee purchased through the Washington, D.C. Health Benefit Exchange Authority.

"I was told our mascot's bills would be out of network.  That's unacceptable.  Starting tomorrow, I'm going to ask President Obama to sign a declaration requiring all hospitals to accept pet insurance."

News of the mascots critical condition quickly made it to social media sites.  Democrats filled Facebook, Twitter and blog comments blaming Republicans for their tidal wave, calling them bad names and accusing them of being intolerant for not agreeing to have only  the views they approve of.



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