Organic Vaccines Approved By FDA; To be Sold Exclusively at Trader Joc's.

Silver Spring, MD -- The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) gave final approval Tuesday to a full line of gluten and GMO free organic vaccines to be sold and injected exclusively at Trader Joc's by board certified chiropractors.  The FDA is hopeful these 100% natural vaccines  will reverse  a dramatic rise in preventable childhood diseases showing up in  children of highly educated white upper middle class parents who only buy organic food products but choose not to vaccinate their children against deadly diseases.

The vaccination rate of children among this population has dropped precipitously over the last decade as pseudoscience and misinformation found in anti-vaxx internet forums has exploded.

Ben Tank , CEO of Trader Joc's, approached the FDA last year with his proposal to buy surplus childhood vaccines and rebrand them as a Shot of Joc, the healthy GMO and gluten free organic alternative to vaccines offered by physicians and big box department stores.

"I see organic healthcare as a big growth opportunity for us. We plan to focus our sales on the children of mothers who fear just about everything without the word organic on it."

Government officials are excited about the benefits of partnering with Trader Joc's.  "Years of FDA research has suggested parents who only buy 100% natural organic food products have an 87% chance of not vaccinating their children against measles, mumps, rubella, flu and other preventable childhood disease.  That number jumps to 98.7% of home-schooled children with internet access in California," said Margaret Ham, the FDA Commissioner  and mother of three organically vaccinated children.

While these vaccines will not be covered by insurance, Trader Joc's is confident their customers will pay extra for peace of mind.

"I can totally see a difference in my kids ever since they got their organic flu shot last week.  Thank you Trader Joc's for making vaccines healthy," said Cindy Dense, a mother of seven children who drives a big red Suburban.

To compliment the complete selection of organic vaccines, Trader Joc's also offers  100% natural plastic syringes and needles for a completely wholesome vaccination experience.

"What if I told you vaccines are 100% GMO and gluten free."

What if I told you vaccines are 100% GMO and gluten free humor meme photo;.



Print Friendly and PDF