Alcohol Bouquet of Hard Liquor is the Worst Anniversary Gift Ever (Picture)!

So I'm shopping the other day with Mrs Happy and I happen across what has to be the worst anniversary gift ever.  Mixed within a beautiful assortment of roses and other flowers was  a bouquet of miniature hard liquor alcohol bottles. This is what you give to your wife who has everything, including a douche bag husband.

On the other hand, it may be the best gift ever for a hospitalized patient. What better way to help your neighbor pass the endless frustrating hours in a hospital than to send Jack and Jim to the hospital  to keep him company.  Plus, most patients don't realize this, but a little alcohol goes a long way in keeping most nurses from complaining  about you ignoring you  riding your call light.    One bottle of Smirnoff and your nurse will gladly silence your out of control screaming neighbor with a little cocktail of Halivan (Haldol and Ativan)

Plus I've learned, in addition to  only hiring hot nurses and giving away  buy none get one free coupons to the all you can eat Golden Corral, hospital administrators will now be sending these hard liquor alcohol bouquets home with patients in hopes  of getting top notch  patient satisfaction scores.  But of course,  only patients being discharged to home will get drunk for free.  Those patients going to a nursing home or skilled nursing facility don't matter because their satisfaction scores don't count in the game of who should we focus our dwindling hospital resources on to get the most bang for our buck.


Alcohol is not a solution saying



This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those with a sense of humor. Read at your own risk.


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