So I'm shopping the other day with Mrs Happy and I happen across what has to be the worst anniversary gift ever. Mixed within a beautiful assortment of roses and other flowers was a bouquet of miniature hard liquor alcohol bottles. This is what you give to your wife who has everything, including a douche bag husband.
On the other hand, it may be the best gift ever for a hospitalized patient. What better way to help your neighbor pass the endless frustrating hours in a hospital than to send Jack and Jim to the hospital to keep him company. Plus, most patients don't realize this, but a little alcohol goes a long way in keeping most nurses fromcomplaining about you ignoring you riding your call light. One bottle of Smirnoff and your nurse will gladly silence your out of control screaming neighbor with a little cocktail of Halivan (Haldol and Ativan)
Plus I've learned, in addition to only hiring hot nurses and giving away buy none get one free coupons to the all you can eat Golden Corral, hospital administrators will now be sending these hard liquor alcohol bouquets home with patients in hopes of getting top notch patient satisfaction scores. But of course, only patients being discharged to home will get drunk for free. Those patients going to a nursing home or skilled nursing facility don't matter because their satisfaction scores don't count in the game of who should we focus our dwindling hospital resources on to get the most bang for our buck.
On the other hand, it may be the best gift ever for a hospitalized patient. What better way to help your neighbor pass the endless frustrating hours in a hospital than to send Jack and Jim to the hospital to keep him company. Plus, most patients don't realize this, but a little alcohol goes a long way in keeping most nurses from
Plus I've learned, in addition to only hiring hot nurses and giving away buy none get one free coupons to the all you can eat Golden Corral, hospital administrators will now be sending these hard liquor alcohol bouquets home with patients in hopes of getting top notch patient satisfaction scores. But of course, only patients being discharged to home will get drunk for free. Those patients going to a nursing home or skilled nursing facility don't matter because their satisfaction scores don't count in the game of who should we focus our dwindling hospital resources on to get the most bang for our buck.
%0A "Pin It")
