Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Hot Sexy Nurses Are The Key To Satisfied Patients.

I've written extensively in the past about how to improve patient satisfaction in the hospital.  Why is that important?  Because The Medicare National Bank is reducing payments to hospitals that fail to achieve benchmark standards in patient satisfaction surveys.  Hospitals have hired expensive experts to teach their doctors and nurses how to professionally mess with patient's minds in hopes of gaining an that extra edge in satisfaction scores.  

Here's a cheaper solution.  Hire the right kind of nurse.  Not just any nurse.  Hot nurses.  That's right folks.  The key to great patient satisfaction scores in the hospital is hot nurses.  Or at least that's what I've been told by patients and nurses alike.   This someecard crude medical humor helps explain this often ignored but very effective solution.   Come on hospitals.  What are you waiting for.  It's time to give our patients what they really want.

And from the Tonight Show and the Jay Leno News Service comes this morsel of information about doctors, nurses  patients and hospitals.  According to Jay, a Men's Health poll indicates that 65% of men would prefer a sexy nurse over a competent doctor.   That's shocking but not surprising.  I suppose it  takes a lot of pressure off the doctors  for a perfect hospital outcome.   Unless of course the nurse happens to be ugly.

I can see it now.  In an effort to improve patient satisfaction and reduce malpractice risk, hospitals  just need to fire the ugly nurses and keep the hot ones.  In fact, as a hospitalist, my malpractice risk depends on it. Forget about all the other quality improvement junk we put ourselves through.  I'd put my money on hot nurses every day.  Make sure to check out a whole  bunch more of these crude someecard medical humor cards.  

someecards.com - Old men are mostsatisfied with theirhospital stay whencared for by hotfreakin' nurses. It's true.

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