I was shocked to learn of a dangerous rapid weight loss fad program that has gained traction for brides wishing to lose a few extra pounds before their wedding. As unbelievable as it sounds, some brides are taking drastic measures to lose weight quickly by placing a nasogastric tube (called an NG tube) through their nose, down their esophagus and into their stomach where self described medical experts promise to help them lose weight quickly for their special walk down the isle in their pretty white dress.
According to some news reports, one physician in Bay Harbor Islands, Florida promises desired weight loss by using a nasogastric tube to provide 10 days worth of carbohydrate free nourishment. Patients in this rapid weight loss program would be closely monitored for such side effects as constipation, bad breath and dizziness. I can't say I've ever heard of such a shocking peri-wedding weight loss program, but apparently it has been a common ritual for brides all across Europe for years In England it's called the KEN diet, or ketogenic enteral nutrition. How much does this drastic rapid weight loss program cost? How does $1,500 sound for the ten day program. That's $150 a day (cash) for the right to have a tube rammed in your nose and down into your stomach to get a solution of carbohydrate free liquid for the purpose of feeling better about yourself? Really? Really?
What I don't understand is if someone wants to lose a lot of weight in such a short period of time by inducing a ketotic metabolism, why not simple buy some ground beef and eat 500 calories worth of hamburger a day for 10 days. That would probably have the same effect. The sad thing is, some people actually believe this nasogastric weight loss program is any better than just starving oneself for a couple weeks with severe calorie restriction. They are willing to pay $1,500 for the right to increase their risk of discomfort and pain, aspiration, pneumonia, gastritis, esophageal perforation, nasal congestion, nose bleeds, sinusitis, intracranial puncture and a touch of psychiatric trauma. I once took a video of a 93 year old marathon runner named Clarence. And you, Miss Bride, chose an NG for your weight loss magic? Don't you feel just a tad bit silly about the whole thing?
I'm hoping any doctor that provides the NG rapid weight loss program for brides has the common decency to also provide intense psychiatric counseling to go with it. The NG therapy ain't going to solve this warped decision making process. If I was the groom, red flags would be going off in my mind suggesting my wife-to-be might need intense psychiatric counseling before our life as husband and wife was able to thrive from the get go. In a warped American kind of way, I'm thinking a show about these crazy NG brides may be the next best reality television series out there. Boobs and Tubes. Who wouldn't want to watch that?