Some I'm at my grandma's house yesterday and she throws a book at me she got in a hospital packet seven years ago after her total knee replacement surgery. I snapped a picture of the cover shown below. It's a how to book on the safer techniques of sex after joint replacement. I had an ACL repair almost 20 years ago and never got anything like this.
I'm not kidding. This book was like the Kama Sutra for nursing homes. It was chalked full of YES/NO diagrams of couples in love going at it to show the correct and incorrect sexual positions. And yes, the diagrams come complete with the artist's renditions of the artificial joints.
This book is great. It has tips for total hip replacement and total knee replacement. Men and women alike get instructional how to tips for different safe sexual positions after surgery. They have instructions for being on top, on bottom, on the side and yes, even having sex while sitting in a chair. I think I might have even learned a thing or two.
I just have to wonder who's idea it was to hand these books out. Was it a CMS mandate for patient satisfaction now that hospitals are going to get paid based on Medicare patient satisfaction scores? Are hospitals ramping up education for all doctors and nurses to stiffen their safety margin on sexual satisfaction scores? Have doctors and nurses been too impotent to the needs of their patients for too many years? I don't think so. I have a gut feeling the Joint Commission is behind all this.
Come on. I don't care who you are. That was funny.
Get your copy of Sex After Total Joint Replacement It's well worth $3 just to set it on your coffee table or in your bathroom for guests to wonder what the heck is going on in your home.
