What we got here is failure to over communication. In case you were wondering, Medicare is going to start paying hospitals based on their patient satisfaction scores. Bad scores equals less money. Angry old grandpa now has the opportunity to make his hospital go bankrupt. I don't know about you, but if I was grandpa, I would be singing high praise for my hospital no matter how bad it was because a bankrupt hospital is worse than no hospital at all.
That's right folks. Medicare cares so deeply about beneficiary satisfaction that they are now going to pay based on care that is perceived as satisfying even if it isn't good care. It is the ultimate in perception trumping reality. If your hospital isn't in the top tier of patient satisfaction, they might as well consider themselves economic losers even if they provide excellent medical care.
So what's a hospital to do? How do they improve their
perception of quality patient satisfaction scores? Why, they hire consulting groups to train their staff to be nice. Patient satisfaction scores have now become a high stakes input variable for hospitals. Success or failure can mean millions of dollars in lost revenue if they fail to win the game of perception.
Enter the Studer Group and their AIDET method. AIDET stands for Acknowledge, Introduce, Duration, Explanation, Thank. For a hefty price, these folks will teach your doctors and nurses how to be the nicest people in world, even if the care they provide is rotten to the core. But the method works. It works beautifully. You can't deny that fact.
It doesn't really matter how bad the care is, as long as patients think it's great. And happy patients leave happy satisfaction surveys. In honor of the Studer Group's AIDET method for bringing in the new era of medical care where perception trumps reality, I present to you my AIDET Code Blue in the ICU, a Happy Hospitalist Original Xtranormal Medical Video Production. Also, go here to view all my other original cute bear medical videos.
As you can see CPR isn't what it used to be. These original Happy medical e-cards explain the rest of the story:
"I tried to call a Code Blue, but was told by IT that it was now called Codeblue411:-o."
"Code Blue Hair: When we all look at each in disgust until someone yells MORE EPI! Then we laugh at something completely inappropriate."
This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those in a healthcare profession. Read at your own risk.