If you need to get gasoline on the massive and expansive Disney property, about the only place you'll find it is at a Hess oil gas station. Mrs Happy and I recently returned from Happy's family Christmas vacation on the Disney property.
Like so much else with Disney, I'm sure Hess oil has an exclusive agreement to provide convenience store operations on the Disney property. Mrs Happy and I stopped at one such Hess station to pick up some Mountain Dew for our sister-in-law. It turns out you can't buy Mountain Dew on Disney property. Disney has an exclusive relationship with Coke to sell only coke products at the exclusion of Pepsi products.
Oh yeah, you can't buy gum either at the Hess convenience stores on Disney property. Disney banned gum sales on their property. But if you'd like a carton of camel crush cigarettes, a heart attack burger and a two liter bottle of coke, no problem. Just thank Disney and send the bill to magical fairies running Obamcare economics. Saturated fats (heart disease), cigarettes (emphysema) and empty sugar calories (diabetes) haven't risen to the level of Disney contraband like gum has.
So, if you're at Disney and need to find a massive obesity inducing sugar load, a carton of Marlboros to kill your lungs and an artery inducing heart attack burger, just head down to your local Disney property Hess convenience store gas station. You can even get drunk and dance at a Disney night club if you want. They'll sell you all the conveniences of modern American life. Disney even has their own EMS providers to send you to the hospital (more on that soon).
However, if gum is what you seek, you'll have to travel five miles down the road and off the Disney expressway. Gum is too dangerous for Disney guests, even the sugarless variety.
I suppose it's only a matter of time before Disney signs an exclusive contract with the Marlboro Man to be the exclusive provider of Mickey Smokes. It all started with a mouse.
