Apologizing To Your Doctor: Patients Acting Badly.

I'm not sure if it's the holiday spirit or if Americans are just becoming nicer during the greatest recession in over 50 years,  but I've had two patients apologize to me in this month alone for acting badly. That never happens.  Patients never apologize.  

The first case involved a gentleman who was sent 200 miles "to see a surgeon because my gallbladder hurts".  I told him he didn't need a surgeon until the work up was complete.  I take that back.  He didn't need a surgeon until a work up was done.  The guy had pain and was sent in to see a surgeon because the surgeon in their town was on vacation and the patient was having pain and the nurse practitioner promised the patient they would see a surgeon to take care of the problem.  After yelling at me for 15 minutes straight:

Patient:  Why the Hell did I drive 200 miles to see you instead of a surgeon? 

Happy:  Well, sir.  I admit people every day who are told things that simply aren't true.  This is a case in point.  If you need a surgeon, I'll call a surgeon.  I'm not going to waste their time or yours until I know you need one. 

Turns out the patient didn't need a surgeon.  They needed a hospitalist.  The next day he apologized to me for his actions.  I think he genuinely felt bad

Patient:  Dr Happy, I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday.

Happy:  Don't worry about it.  Being sick can be frustrating.  I get yelled at by patients all the time.  I don't ever take it personally. You don't have to apologize.  I've already forgotten all about it. 

Patient:  Thanks doc.  

Happy:  No problem. Sorry about your driving 200 miles for nothing.   Do you want to go home?

Patient:  I'd love to.  

I got yelled at later in the week by a woman whom I told probably had cancer, but we were waiting for the finaly pathology results.

Patient:  I came in here with abdominal pain  and now you're telling me I might have lung cancer?

Happy:  Yes.  The biopsy from your bronchoscopy  is concerning for cancer.  I've discussed things with the pathologist but they are waiting for some final stains.  It is concerning though.

Patient:  Sh*t.  So do I or do I not have cancer?  What the H*ll are you talking about?

Happy:  Again.  I'm concerned this is cancer but I'm waiting for a final tissue diagnosis so I can help decide what to do next.

Patient:  What kind of answer is that?

Happy:  That's the best I can do for now.  

The next day I was surprised to get an apology from the lady;

Patient:  I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday. 

Happy:  It's nothing to worry about.  It's never an easy conversation to have.  I'm not the least bit offended.

Patient:  Well, I am.  I shouldn't have acted that way and I'm sorry.

Happy:  It's really nothing, really.  I've already forgotten about it. 

Patients often yell at their doctors and nurses out of frustration.  It comes with the territory.  I don't get offended.  I don't even really care if they write bad reviews about me.  Being sick just plain sucks. But it's nice to know that some patients actually have the strength to apologize for their actions when they know they've acted badly.  That's the right thing to do.  But I won't judge them if they don't.   They've already got enough to worry about.  As a nurse or doctor, have you ever had a patient apologize to you?