I recently had the honor of meeting Visa. Visa is a hospital pet therapy dog. I saw Visa roaming the halls without a leash the other day. It was a beautiful dog, probably cleaner in many regards to some patients and their families I care for. Mrs Happy and I have Marty and Cooper, our two Italian greyhounds. Their love tanks are always full.
I think they would make the perfect therapy dogs. Marty gives hugs and kisses. I'm not kidding. If you tell him "hugs and kisses" he will walk onto your chest, wrap his skinny little paws around your neck and press his neck into your chin. He'll give you a hug and then smack you a wet kiss. He just loves giving hugs and kisses. What patient wouldn't want Marty jumping on their sternal incision and jumping around their chest tubes?
I think they would make the perfect therapy dogs. Marty gives hugs and kisses. I'm not kidding. If you tell him "hugs and kisses" he will walk onto your chest, wrap his skinny little paws around your neck and press his neck into your chin. He'll give you a hug and then smack you a wet kiss. He just loves giving hugs and kisses. What patient wouldn't want Marty jumping on their sternal incision and jumping around their chest tubes?
I say go for it. If Marty and Visa can make you feel better as a patient and help the hospital get higher hospital survey satisfaction results, it's time we get a pet therapy dog on every floor. It's also time for hospitals to start looking for alternative sources of revenue. Animal assisted therapy is the buzz word being tossed around these days. Offering hospital therapy dogs is the perfect growth opportunity for hospitals struggling under the weight of declining payments. It's time for hospitals to start thinking outside the box. Pet therapy is the perfect revenue source.
I envision dog and cat therapy as just one option of many to be offered to patients on a daily basis. For an additional fee, the patient will have a host of services to pick from. Whether it's animals and hair stylists on one day or pedicurists and massage specialists on the other, the menu of fee carrying hospital amenities is limited only by the imagination.
If the patient can pick their food menu everyday why not offer them amenities above and beyond what their Medicare and Blue Cross will pay for? I envision the future of hospital medicine being funded by the rich and well off who demand a higher level of service in their hospitel. Unless they can find alternative sources of revenue, hospitals will suffer as Medicare goes bankrupt. It will be a race to the bottom unless hospitals can generate income above and beyond what insurance will pay for actual health care.
If the patient can pick their food menu everyday why not offer them amenities above and beyond what their Medicare and Blue Cross will pay for? I envision the future of hospital medicine being funded by the rich and well off who demand a higher level of service in their hospitel. Unless they can find alternative sources of revenue, hospitals will suffer as Medicare goes bankrupt. It will be a race to the bottom unless hospitals can generate income above and beyond what insurance will pay for actual health care.
The time has come to build hospital kennels and invest in therapy dogs. Who's going to pay for the right to see Visa? You know who you are. The ones with the summer home in Hawaii and a 40 feet fifth wheel parked in their 12 stall garage. They want the comforts of home. They want Fido there to comfort their ills. Well, it's time they help support the economic collapse coming to a hospital near them. It's time for them to pony up some extra cash to pay for that pet therapy dog to grace their presence. It's time they paid to get their hair done and their back massaged. It's time they paid to get their nails done. They are the future revenue source of hospitals everywhere.
Who is going to manage these therapy dogs in the hospital? Who is going to be your hair stylist? Who's going to do your nails and give you your massage? Why hospitalists of course. I see training and managing of pet therapy dogs among the other amenities as just another in a series of value added benefit hospitalists will bring to the future of hospital based medicine. Offering animal therapy is just one of many revenue sources for hospitalists to entertain as they enter this future of hospitalist based medicine. You won't hear about any of this at the Society of Hospital Medicine international convention this year in Washington, DC. Nope. You heard it here first.
Quality care? Evidence based medicine? Nah. None of that matters. The future of hospital medicine isn't about quality or evidence driven medical care. It's about keeping patients happy. Rich patients. Rich patients with money. Rich patients who will keep our hospitals solvent for the rest of us common folk. That's the future of hospital based medicine. Without rich patients, hospitals won't survive what's coming our way.
In-patient pet therapy dogs are the future source of revenue for hospitals struggling to stay alive in a Medicare system that's broke. It's this type of thinking outside the box that will save future hospitals from the greatest asset collapse the world has never seen. As a hospitalist I plan on staying ahead of the curve. I'm getting my dog handling permits in line today. I recommend others do the same.
Quality care? Evidence based medicine? Nah. None of that matters. The future of hospital medicine isn't about quality or evidence driven medical care. It's about keeping patients happy. Rich patients. Rich patients with money. Rich patients who will keep our hospitals solvent for the rest of us common folk. That's the future of hospital based medicine. Without rich patients, hospitals won't survive what's coming our way.
In-patient pet therapy dogs are the future source of revenue for hospitals struggling to stay alive in a Medicare system that's broke. It's this type of thinking outside the box that will save future hospitals from the greatest asset collapse the world has never seen. As a hospitalist I plan on staying ahead of the curve. I'm getting my dog handling permits in line today. I recommend others do the same.
