Quit Smoking For Good Or You'll Get Cross-Eyed (Crazy Pictures!)

You only get one chance to quit smoking for good before it's too late.  As a physician, I implore you to  stop smoking today before you too succumb to the dreadful cross eyes!  Once the cross eyes attack, irreversible damage has been done.  Little is known about this rare side effect of smoking. Even less is known about treatment options for smoking related cross eyes.

I had only  heard of getting cross-eyed from smoking once before as a resident in training.  That person quit the very next day. For some people, money is not an issue, even if it costs them six million dollars for a lifetime of cigarettes.  For some peoople, avoiding permanent cross-eyed damage is motivation enough.  What kind of smoking cessation methods did they use to quit smoking without the horrible side effects? 

Of course, no such smoking cessation method exists, unless of course you use the magic method of quitting.  There will always be side effects of quitting smoking.  The question is, how much is the smoker willing to accept in the pursuit of quitting smoking for good?  The only way a smoker can expect to quit smoking for good is to accept withdrawal symptoms as part of the detoxification process. 

What defines a smoker as an addict?  All smokers are addicts if they meet three or more of the following criteria:

• Build tolerance with escalating doses.
• Smoke more than usual
  
• Withdraw after stopping.
• Continue to smoke despite having a desire to quit.
• Spend a lot of time in pursuit of cigarettes.
• Rearrange their life around smoking.
• Continue to smoke despite knowledge of the health hazards of cigarettes.  

Most smokers could probably meet all seven criteria at one point or another in their lifelong climb up the corporate ladder of smoking.  Smokers who deny their addiction are at an especially high risk of succombing to the  devastating cross eyes.

Cross-eyed sister-in-law.

I am reminded of my own family's experience with this rare but concerning  complication of tobacco abuse.   I recently learned that my sister-in-law, one of the millions of smokers in America,  has contracted smoking related cross eyes.  Mrs Happy and I are devastated.  We recommended she quit smoking for good before before she is forced into a job on the carny circuit.

As a physician, I know what's in store for her future if she isn't willing to accept withdrawal symptoms are part of her addiction recovery process.  If she can't accept the side effects of quitting as part of her road to recovery, then all the smoking cessation pills, patches and supplements  in the world won't help her break her addiction.  Withdrawal symptoms will always be present. That's the nature of addiction.  The question for the addict is whether they are  willing to accept some pain and suffering to experience life on the other side of recovery?  

Mrs Happy and I fear she is headed straight for a new  career in the circus if she doesn't find a smoking cessation method that works for her.  There is no time to waste.  Our worst fears have been realized.  I blog often about the side effects of smoking, but I've never discussed the cross-eyed phenomenon, mostly out of a fear of mass hysteria.  Now it's time to lay it all out.

While I am gravely concerned for my sister-in-law's future, there is hope on the horizon  with her efforts to quit smoking.  She has procured the electronic cigarette and searched the  underground market for a three month supply of  free Chantix.

Crazed hungry delirium.

As you can see in in this picture above, her withdrawal symptoms have strangled her sanity.  In just three hours of tobacco abstinence, she developed a severe  case of uncombable hair syndrome, an ominous sign when seen in combination with cross-eyed delirium.    One common side effect of stopping smoking is a desire to eat everything in sight.  I wasn't sure if her attempt to eat the Chantix box was due to a hunger pain or due to patient education issues.

Before cross eyes attacked!

In just three years, her addiction to cigarettes has turned her  from a beauty queen on the beaches of Maui into a cross-eyed, crazy haired circus midget  looking for her next nicotine fix.  Sister-in-law, if you're reading this, remember today is the day you quit this nasty habit and never look back.  It's too bad the smoking vaccine isn't available yet.  Take your quit smoking pills as directed.   Make sure your electronic cigarette is fully charged at all times and get ready to rid your body of the toxic cesspool infesting you and all the loved ones around you. It's now or never sister. Today is the day you quit smoking for good and see straight once again.

After cross eyes attacked!