Milking The Prostate Not Milk IN The Prostate. Incredible Error Of Judgment

Sometimes sexual experimentation can land you in the hospital, especially if you don't know what you're doing.  Take for example the young couple in love who heard that if you milk the prostate, also known as prostate massage, you can make your man's junk larger than normal. To learn more about this couple, continue reading.

What is the prostate used for? The prostate provides a vital role in male reproduction by giving nourishment and protection to sperm as they pass out the ejaculate.   Milking the prostate is usually a medical process.  The prostate can be accessed  by inserting a finger in the male or shemale rectum with the patient bent over.  Access to the prostate is achieved with approximately two inches of entry (make sure you lube up doctor) and sweeping the finger toward the stomach. How big is the normal prostate?   It's often described as the size of a walnut.  But they can become quite large, leading to obstructive problems urinating.  Benign prostatic hypertrophy, or BPH as it's known, is a condition most men get with age. 

I used to do quite a few prostate exams back in my outpatient clinical years.  It takes a lot of practice to know exactly what you're feeling or think you're feeling.  I haven't done one in the seven years of hospitalist work, nor do I ever intend to do one again.  That's why God made urologists and other outpatient doctors.  If my hospitalized patient needs a prostate exam, they're getting a consult with a urologist.   I remember my first year of medical school quite clearly.  My anatomy professor taught  all of us how to milk our own prostate.  I never looked at my medical school professors the same ever again.    These are the real life lessons we learned in medical school.

Now that we've established how to access the prostate, I suppose you're wondering why anyone would want to milk it. The medical prostate exam is called  the digital rectal exam.  There are many medical reasons for milking the prostate. The most common reason for prostate massage is to evaluate the presence or absence of  prostate nodules, a clinical marker for prostate cancer, which is the most common cancer in America (excluding skin cancer).

Some doctors still  milk the prostate as therapy for prostatitis, or an infected prostate, although the therapeutic benefits are controversial.   One other interesting medical application for prostate massage involves our friends in the animal kingdom.  In animal husbandry, electroejaculation involves the placement of an electrical probe near the nerves of the prostate to stimulate  the production of  semen for reproductive purposes. It can also be used in humans with paralysis associated sexual dysfunction.

But what about our young curious couple in love how thought milking the prostate meant milk IN the prostate?  Let's just say he ended up in the hospital after she injected milk into his scrotum. On the other hand, she is now getting fetish requests from all across the sick internet universe of ours.  As physicians we hold an enormous asymmetric foundation of knowledge.   One benefit of longitudinal patient relationships with outpatient physicians is the opportunity to understand which of them have the educational foundation, the mental capacity and the motivation to understand their disease process.  As physicians, I am constantly educating my patients  on the need to quit smoking.  I assume nothing as to their understanding of the ravishes of tobacco.  As for our young couple in love, their lack of education is a shocking testament to the realities of the misinformed patient.

This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those in a health care profession. Read at your own risk. 

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