(HNN). Surprising legislation has emerged out of the Democratic Congress that promises to protect America for generations to come. Called the Sustainable Growth Rate (SGR) for Seniors Bill of 2009 it promises to solve the Medicare finance quandary we currently find ourselves battling. Charles Rangel, D-N.Y committed political suicide with his bill in what will surely be a show down with other politicians who show no interest in personal sacrifice for the common good.
When asked why he would do such a thing, Mr. Rangel responded, "Obama said it's time for banks to say thank you by loaning money to Americans who can't pay them back. How can you question such dedication ? We talked. The time is now for me to take one for the team. So I did. I love that man."
Sustainable Growth Rate for Seniors Bill of 2009 promises to do for seniors what it did for primary care physicians everywhere: Annihilate them. The bill solves the finance problem by requiring all health care cost inflation above GDP growth to be paid for with a value added tax on seniors, disabled folks and the poor. It holds these groups accountable for the cost of the care they receive.
Current Senate Finance Committee members indicated this could total $500 per beneficiary the first year, rising every year that costs aren't controlled.
"How am I supposed to afford my cigarettes and cable TV? ", a disgruntled senior, who wishes to remain anonymous , was heard saying.
The program represents a stark contrast to the complicated Sustainable Growth Rate formulas for relative value unit codes, current procedural terminology codes and international classification of disease codes that plagued physicians for years. Put simply, any growth in spending over GDP for beneficiaries will be considered a value added tax liability.
One Senator, who wished to remain anonymous because they were not given authority so speak on the matter , called it the Alternative Alternative Minimum Tax (AAMT), something vehemently opposed to by the AARP
Some Democrats expressed concern that little old granny wouldn't be able to pay for her value added tax and her motor home at the same time. Not to fear said the Democratic Caucus. Other proposals are in the works.
Nancy Pelosi, D-CA was heard saying, "This is great. What's not to love about taxes? Besides, I have in my possession my proposal for the Yearly Stimulus Plan for Seniors Bill of 2009 that gives all seniors, disabled and poor people a bonus check every year till the end of time to pay for the extra cost of their value added tax for their free government health care. And I've proposed a tax on everyone making over $250,000 a year to pay for it. It's called the Sustainable Growth Rate For Rich People Act of 2009 a plan to make sure rich people never make more than $250,000 a year ever again. And I've set up another government agency to make it all happen."
Concerned Republicans were also found getting behind this bipartisan bill. "If Sustainable Growth Rate for Seniors does for seniors what the sustainable growth rate did for primary care, the answer to the finance question is simple. Let's just let Sustainable Growth Rate for seniors wipe them all out. No more old people. No more disabled people. No more poor people. If Sustainable Growth Rate for Seniors collapses, so will the Sustainable Growth Rate for Rich people. And rich people will thrive again", Senator Mitch McConnel, R-K.Y was overheard saying.