You want good satisfaction surveys? Give them free soda pop at the hospital. To patients, their doctor is "the best doctor". Most patients don't know how to quantify best. Nobody would put themselves in the hands of somebody they thought was bad. They hear from their family and friends that Dr Soandso is great or Dr Soandso is a jerk. That's how patients decide who's the best. From those around them.
You want real good quality scores. You have to invest in FREE=MORE. Give the patients, family and friends free pop and you'll keep them coming back for more every time.
"I don't like Happy's hospital. They don't have free pop machines. I'd rather go across town for my knee surgery because they have this on every floor..."
FREE=MORE wins every time. Put one in your office. Put one on every floor in the hospital. If you want happy patients and families, you have to bribe them. Even Mrs Happy said she loves the crushed ice. That's what America is all about. Free pop? Nobody cares about hospital compare. Put your money in free pop machines and be done with it. You'll be happy you did.
Yep, the "hospital across town" has always had free pop. But...yours does in the new tower, right? And food for all the new moms and dads, if I've heard correctly. That pop is free for the taking for all staff, too, by the way. :)
ReplyDeleteWouldn't work for me... that pop machine doesn't have Mug Root Beer.
ReplyDeleteHappy,
ReplyDeleteHow do you manage to get all those patient raves without a free pop machine? Now that we know your stellar statistics as well it is time to declare you the greatest hospitalist on earth! Not only do you obtain all these kudos, but you do it with one arm tied behind your back.
It's soda you hillbillies
ReplyDeleteI'm still grieving the loss of Mr. Pibb.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, the MO of a pediatric surgeon group I once worked with had free soda and a free merry-go-round (the little kind - 4 seater, like ouside Walmart) in the waiting room. That merry-go-round drove me batshit crazy with the music going full blast for hours upon hours on end.
ReplyDeleteBut you know what? It WORKED. People would wait contentedly (for the most part) in the waiting room for hours when appointments were put off due to emergency appys and whatnot. They loved the doctors too.
Free pop would only make the obesity epidemic worse.
ReplyDeleteOffering stuff for free appeals to people's basic instincts, and they run deep...
ReplyDeleteFor awhile, I was doing diabetes research, so I would go to conferences which were attended by both scientists and physicians. With the latter present, the drug companies were out in full force with booths looking like living rooms at Macy's promoting their stuff. They always had oodles of giveaways, much better than at purely scientific meetings. Besides pens and notepads, there were bags, computer trinkets (stick drives), clocks, stress balls, cups, etc. And, you'd have these MD's and nurses all wandering around in a daze filling their bags of cheap stuff...sure, some of it is 'for the kids' but I suspect alot of it goes to waste. These are folks who make good money, and could well afford (better versions of) the giveaways. But, it's that primal attraction of something for FREE...
Marco